The Splat Grind--4/28

Hello and welcome to this week’s episode of the Splat Grind because the Splat Grind stops for no one, not even Inkbrushes who can actually get splats. Today, I’m going to tell you my Splatoon 3 highlights from the past week.

April 22: You know how I was talking yesterday about the next rotation being one random weapon? Well, today’s that day. At least we’re not gonna have two Grizzco Sloshers. That would be a nightmare.

The first wave, I had the Splattershot at low tide. As I may have mentioned in the past, Gone Fission Hydroplant at low tide is not kind to me. There are no high points, and there are so many places where you can fall in the water. I don’t remember anything specific about this wave, just a general sense of unease. We survived anyway. As the next wave began, I was thinking, we can’t have low tide TWICE, right? It was low tide again, and I had the Glooga Dualies. The first boss was a Stinger right down the middle. I went to start shooting it, but some Lessers got in the way and decided to use me as a pinata. Once they had finally gotten the candy out of me, someone else shot the Stinger most of the way down. They revived me, and we beat it together. The Salmonids were blocking us from the basket, too, so it was hard getting eggs in even if we had them. That’s when the Flyfish came in. I had a Booyah Bomb, so I was the team’s best bet at beating this thing. I try to get close to it, but then I get bonked in the water by something or other. When I get revived, then I deploy the Booyah Bomb. It took a long time to charge because, apparently, my teammates don’t care about booyah-ing. I throw my Booyah Bomb and run. I notice the Fish Stick that was dropped by the basket which I sorta assumed my teammates had taken care of but had ONE fish left on it. I make my way up there and start trying to shoot it. That’s when a Flyfish targets me. Did a second one come in? That’s when I realize: I missed. We were wiped out with nine eggs out of twelve.

I decide to go in again like I do. It’s not like I’ll get ONLY low tide today, right? The first wave, I get the Grizzco Slosher, or as I like to call it, a slow clunky piece of junk, and also it was Mothership, which after yesterday, left me feeling great. Doing anything was nigh impossible. It takes a full second for the thing to attack, and two attacks is enough to deplete my ink tank. I might have been able to beat one Chinook, and when the Mothership came in, by the time I had my ink tank filled and pressed ZR, it was gone. It’s a good thing my teammates were on top of the egg-grabbing game because I was about as useful as rock. The second wave, I had the Squiffer, and it was a normal wave. I spent the wave alternating between actually charging up and all tap shots all the time. Because of Gone Fission’s plentiful high points, I could shoot at a Fish Stick from the side. And two of my teammates joined in. And none of us actually got on top. But we still beat it. Another Fish Stick came in on the other side, but there was a Steelhead next to it throwing bombs everywhere. If I were to beat that Fish Stick safely, I’d have to beat that Steelhead except Steelheads aren’t my strong suit. There was only one thing I could do: one-shot it with a full charge. That’s the last time you’ll ever see me snipe anything. We made it out alive, and the third wave, I had the Splattershot…at low tide. What’s worse is we had two Chargers. Just kidding, one of them disconnected, which really is worse. The first boss was a Scrapper. And then a Maws. I was trying to stay out of the way of the Maws while trying to splat the Scrapper. Then a Cohock comes in, hits me into the Scrapper’s back, and all of a sudden, the game’s telling me I’ve been splatted by a Scrapper. Dude, it was the Cohock’s fault. While I was waiting to get revived, that’s when a second Scrapper came in. I’m pretty sure we got them all beat, but there were so many bosses and only three us. Out quota was only 10. Even that was a struggle. I was there outrunning a Drizzler storm, probably another Scrapper, maybe also a Steelhead, just trying to pick up some eggs and throw them to the basket. One of them bounced off a ramp. We got our 10 eggs. Two of us died. It was up to the last person to survive for those last four seconds. We made it out with 56 eggs out of 33.

They really should reduce the number of bosses when there’s a disconnect. You really expect three people to fight all this?

April 24: Getting back to trying out new weapons in Turf War. When looking for good Rainmaker weapons, I saw an article suggesting the Dualie Squelchers, the N-Zap, and the Heavy Splatling. I tried the Dualie Squelchers. I tried the N-Zap. I kept using the N-Zap because once you go N-Zap, you never go back. Then I remembered that I never tried the Heavy Splatling, but I tried the Mini Splatling first, and once you go Mini, you never go back. Still, I’m going to bite the bullet and use the Heavy Splatling. My holding ZR while firing technique could still work, and the firing duration is longer, so now I don’t have to charge 15 times to splat someone.

The first battle was on Inkblot Art Academy, and I was prepared to lose, especially since the other team had Mika the Splatana Wiper, Simotonin the Splattershot, and enzo508 the Splat Charger. Let’s hope they’re a bad sniper. As I would learn over the course of this battle, when your enemy team is good at splatting, it becomes harder to remember to charge while firing and easier to just run on instinct, which doesn’t always work. What’s worse is that in the last minute, Simotonin got on our base, and I learned that getting four hits is way easier to do on a dummy than on a Splattershot main with legs that just won’t quit. I am talking about speed here. At the thirty second mark, I’d realize it didn’t matter whether enzo508 was a good sniper because they had bad internet and disconnected. We won by 12 percent.

The second battle was on Flounder Heights. Getting home base covered was easy. It was the rest of the battle that was a challenge, and my instinct was in full force. The worst part of the enemy team was Inksomniac. Inksomniac was an Inkbrush main. I know how to deal with Inkbrush main. I am one. What I didn’t expect was for them to get nine splats in three minutes, and if hitting that Splattershot was hard, imagine if that person had an Inkbrush. My biggest achievement in this battle was picking up on the entire enemy team with one Wave Breaker…and then picking up on them with eyes as they charged towards me. It was a one-sided beatdown. We lost by ouch percent, just as I expected. I don’t trust Inkbrushes who are good at getting splats. They’re doing something illegal.

The third battle was on Inkblot Art Academy. Not only was Inksomniac on the other team again, they also had octo kid the Dynamo Roller. Hopefully, they cancel each other out and absolutely suck. My salvation would have to come in the form of the Dynamo Roller disconnecting, so now the battle’s done. The third battle was on Flounder Heights. Not only was Inksomniac on the other team, they also had Octo Kid the REEF-LUX. This was a different Octo Kid. This one is captialized. The other one was not. They only used Tenta Missiles once and died immediately afterwards. This one did start out stressful because they were getting on our base. I decided home base was lost. I’d have to go to their side. Unfortunately, Inksomniac was over there. I’d have to keep my distance, and if they saw me, I was gone. Amazingly, I wasn’t gone, and they were. They didn’t die. They were just on our side by the next time I respawned. This also ended stressful because, well, I’m using a Heavy Splatling, a weapon which I had never picked up before, and the other team was trying to play the spawn-caming game. Amazingly, we won by eight percent, and I got four splats to four times splatted, which is better than my Heavy Splatling track record.

This is a good weapon, but it’s not worth using if it’s going to make my blood pressure this high. I got 748 points, 748 again, and then 768, so it’s not the best at turfing, but it sure is consistent.

April 25: Today’s Salmon Run rotation is supposed to be “superfresh.” I don’t understand how anything can be considered superfresh when it has a Nozzlenose, but I’ll make it work.

The first wave, I had the Ballpoint Splatling at high tide. I was at my spot atop the tower, and–oh, look. High tide just had its first victim. Anyway, I was trying to use my technique of holding ZR mid-fire, but it didn’t work because you can charge the Ballpoint mid-fire. I was so confused that I resorted to the technique of “just shoot things.” What I’ve learned today is that I’ve figured out the Mini but not the Ballpoint. Also, you can kill Chums by throwing eggs in the basket. It isn’t just something you can do in the training room. The second wave, I had the Nozzlenose at normal tide. For the next 100 seconds, I’d just have to Nozzlesurvive. On the bright side, the non-automatic fire made it easier to shoot down a Fish Stick from beside it. That’s about it. The third wave, I had the Jet Squelcher, and the lights were going down. I was hoping, “Please don’t be Grillers,” but I guess it was bound to happen eventually. At least I had the range to shoot it without putting myself in immediate danger. Once a Griller was beat, I’d focus on getting the eggs to the basket and clearing away any Smallfries trying to nip at my feet because I am not dying to those preschoolers. However, I might have died to them once or twice, and we might have been down to one person with five seconds left, and if we had died to Grillers in the third wave with five seconds left, I would have been so mad. Luckily, we won with 59 eggs out of 37.

I decided to go in again. The first wave, I had the Ballpoint Splatling at low tide. The wave 1 quota was 13 as opposed to the last run’s 11, but there’s a Scrapper coming towards me, so I can shoot it head-on. Boom. Three eggs down. I also managed to bomb out a Flyfish with a Triple Inkstrike, but when the second one came in, I decided to save my last one. We just survived for the last 10 seconds. The second wave, I had the Jet Squelcher at high tide. Luckily, we didn’t have any quick victims. We did, however, make the mistake of stunning a Scrapper with its back against the wall, and we just had to ignore it and focus on something else. I guess it came back to hit me while I was by the basket, or was that just a different Scrapper? Then the third wave came. I had the Sploosh-O-Matic on normal tide. Aw yeah, baby! That’s what I’m talking about! However, this was still the hardest wave with the constant stream of Maws lurking around the basket. Actually, it might have been two, but that’s the same to me. So while we were in the final thirty seconds trying to fight off two Maws and a Steelhead and a Drizzler and a Slammin’ Lid, I noticed there was one egg that somehow hadn’t made it into the basket, so I just dove towards the Slammin’ Lid and the cluster of Lessers next to it. I grabbed the egg and then got splatted by the Drizzler’s Ink Storm. We had one player left with five seconds left, but they were able to survive long enough to make it out alive with 72 eggs out of 43.

I like that you can see on SplatNet how we spammed our specials at the end of wave 3. Or that was only me spamming my special and they used theirs for useful things.

April 27: Today is a Turf War day, and since I’m done trying out new weapons, normally, this is where I’d resume my journey to get five stars on the Inkbrush, but I absolutely blasted the competition with the Mini Splatling last week, and I wanna try something. When I was starting out in Splatoon 2, I miraculously got an 11-win streak with the Inkbrush, and that’s when I decided, “This is the weapon.” Now, if I find a weapon I really like, I think if it’s such a great weapon, I should be able to get 12 wins with it. I’ve tried it with the Inkbrush Nouveau. It failed. I tried it with the N-Zap 85. It failed. Is it an unrealistic request of me? Yes. Am I going to try it anyway? Heck yeah. As it turns out, I only got two wins with the Zink Mini, so I’m just going to say my current win streak is three.

The first battle was on Manta Maria. This battle started out great. I had my Ultra Stamp, so I could just BAM BAM BAM across the center, and bella had her Ultra Stamp, so she could also BAM BAM BAM across the center, flattening almost everyone. For some reason, when I have the Ultra Stamp on Manta Maria, my first instinct is to charge onto enemy base. Anyway, I think we had a minute and 50 seconds left when someone on our team disconnected, and suddenly my faith in being able to win this battle went down. You might be great at Splatoon, but Nintendo’s internet is always worse. I usually expect the battle to turn in the other team’s favor after this, but it never happened. I made it halfway through the battle before getting ambushed by a Krak-On Roller. It might have been a 3v4, but we were able to squeeze out a win by 27 PERCENT. Best 3v4 ever, and I got four splats to three times splatted. I wondered how a team could lose a 3v4 that badly when I checked the stats and saw the enemy team’s top splatters had two each, and on our side, bella was smacking people willy-nilly with her Splatana Wiper. So maybe there is hope for me. Let’s keep going.

The second battle was on Manta Maria. This one felt like a closer game, especially since bella was on the other team smacking people willy-nilly. However, they only got four splats this time, and I managed to splat them at least twice, one of those times from a distance I didn’t think the Mini Splatling could reach. I once again Ultra-Stamped to the enemy base and managed to make it at least thirty seconds. The only thing that stopped me from covering everything in sight was someone on my team using a Booyah Bomb, and I sent a few booyahs their way. Then, as a precautionary measure, I Ultra-Stamped off of enemy base, which is when I noticed that they made it onto our side. We were able to squeeze out a win by four percent, and I got 1141 points and six splats to two times splatted. This time, the enemy team’s top splatters got four each, which is a drastic improvement, but the other two people still had the default banner, default title, and default clothes, which might have been why they lost.

The third battle was on Manta Maria. Bella was on my side again as was cow an 8. That feels inappropriate, but I don’t know what it is. At the beginning, I try to be the person who gets home base covered, but bella seemed to be doing that for me. Thanks, bella. I wish I could wipe a Splatana like you. Anyway, you know what it is. Ultra Stamp across the center, wind up on enemy base, try to survive, succeed in surviving? I think what finally got me was the Splat Roller, and even then, it was a trade, so it benefits me as well. I also got to live out my dream of splatting a Zipcaster. This is what happens when I get a range higher than zero and shots that don’t land literally everywhere. Anyway, we ended the battle with a raid on enemy base and won by 33 percent. The enemy’s top splatter had five, but the others has zero, one, and one, so there it is.

So I’m at six wins, amazingly. I don’t know what it is. Are my opponents bad, or am I good? I just know that the more I win, the more it’s going to suck when I finally lose.

April 28: So voting opened for the Splatfest. I picked wisdom even though it’s going to tank in popularity, but that just means we won’t get any mirror matches. The blue and purple teams have won four out of six Splatfests, and also, Frye is babie. Today’s Salmon Run rotation ranks a 7 on the pain scale, and it’s got the Hydra, so let’s play some Ranked instead. I haven’t played Ranked in a hot while. Splat Zones is the name, and splatting the zone is the game. I’m using the Aerospray RG this time because I don’t want to ram my Reefslider into that stupid tower in the middle of Inkblot Art Academy.

The first battle was on Inkblot Art Academy, and that stupid tower is still there, which means I had the right idea. We got the zone first, but the other team would not take that sitting down. One of them always seemed to be around the corner. A couple coordinated Triple Inkstrike and Ink Storm drops from splash and sniper gave us control for a while. We only made it down to 70, though. On my first Booyah Bomb, I escaped getting splatted by two people and then realized not only does the stupid Inkblot Art Academy stop Reefsliders, it stops your visual while throwing your Booyah Bomb. I threw it at my feet and splatted no one. The second time, I got splatted in that brief window before the vulnerability kicks in. The third time, my vision was blocked by that same tower, so this time, I overshot it. I missed the zone completely, but I did splat the Dapple Dualies user who was giving me trouble. After the two-minute mark, I knew it was too late for us, but we could probably make it the whole five minutes–oh, wait. Someone on our team disconnected. Well, we’re getting knocked out, and we did in four minutes and three seconds, but I got 1049 points. All three of us broke 1000. How did we lose? I guess we did lose Jar midway through the battle, but I don’t think they knew where the zone was anyway.

The second battle was on Eeltail Alley. This battle started great for us. We had the whole zone covered, so it was up to the rest of the team to keep the enemies away while I stayed behind covering up any un-orange spots. Then at the 15-point mark, the enemy team came at us with the Ink Storm Booyah Bomb combo. Then we didn’t know what to do. I just had to survive, and I kind of failed. Our salvation would have to come in a double Booyah Bomb at the last minute. My Booyah Bomb landed right in the middle of the zone. My Hydra Splatling buddy’s landed allllll the way over there. We did get knocked out in two minutes and 45 seconds, but I got splatted the second least, so go me.

The third battle was on Inkblot Art Academy, and my team had an all-shooter comp. Hopefully, the Jet Squelcher would complement the Sploosh-O-Matic, and the high damage of the 52 Gal would make up for the general flimsiness of my Aerospray. We had the zone first, but that’s when the enemy team came in. I saw someone coming around the corner and thought I could splat them, but they splatted me first, proving that just running at people is a gameplay style that the Aerospray’s range cannot support. I could not set foot in the zone without dying. I think their Splat Charger sniped me through the corner of the stupid Inkblot Art Academy tower. Two minutes, twenty seconds, and one overshot Booyah Bomb later, we lost again. I say “we” as if I haven’t changed teammates every time.

But like I said, I haven’t played Ranked in a hot while.

Thank you for listening to the Splat Grind. Be sure to come back next week for even more Splatoon craziness.

Listen to this on YouTube! https://youtu.be/b6d3OPH_YCw